December 14, 2004: Baja Rock Club, St. Charles, MO
Alright. The moment of truth. Were I a good writer.
If I had an over-arching theme. If I was, in any way, leading
toward any sort of conclusion. Or resolution. This is where
it would occur. I am not going to lie to you. I am not sure
if I am capable of convincing you the significance of this show.
I have [very] poorly written about over a dozen shows now. Taking
each one at a time. Devoting little time to writing about how
they are connected. How each one was the next step in a
process. How each show, we grew together. Became more of
what I guess would be considered our selves. But, most
significantly, I should have hinted at what was coming. I should
have given a little more time to thinking about the future. But when
you are living it, you can't know.
At the beginning of the show, it was just another show. Drive
around. Load in. Set up. Drink. Smoke a bunch
of cigarettes... But by the end. By the time Sam's bass
stopped bouncing around the stage. By the time Joey reached over
and turned of his amp and Paul started talking to people and Matt was
rubbing his head from smashing it into the keyboard. By the time
all the cords were being wrapped up and the classic rock was once again
blaring out of the speakers. Something clearly had changed.
Maybe not in the past 30 minutes. But surely the past 30 minutes
had allowed for the change to be realized.
You see. Before we started playing shows in the fall, we were a
five piece. It just so happened that Zach, our second guitar
player, decided to go to L.A. for a semester to study film or
something. Of course, there was no way we were going to stop
playing. So, we learned how to make due without him. How to
be a five peice with only four people.
By the time Zach had returned and saw us play at this show, we were
doing it well! After we played and I talked with him about
returning to the band and I asked him (about the show he had just seen):
"So, Zach, what did you think?"
"It was intimidating!"
Intimidating? Intimidating! Wow! He was right!
I had not realize until that very moment what we had become. We
were always operating under the idea that when Zach got back we would
be five again. But we had made it really hard for him. It
was, by no means, intentional. But it happened. We had
become a unit that he was no longer a part of.
The four of us were Berry. We were intimidating!
Possible set: Tick Tock, Death, Crow/Love/Sunday
Breakfast, Middle Man, Broken Machine (including Matt smashing
his head into the keyboard),
I Miss You, The Way (I'm
Supposed to Be) with extra noise!!!!!! (and Sam throwing his
bass across the stage)
Next Show
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Shows 2004